Beyond the rainbow

What if I told you that one of my core values was positivity?

For some, that might conjure a cringeworthy image – picture me frolicking through a sunlit meadow, singing and laughing, tossing rainbows and sunshine out into the world.

Rest assured, that’s not what’s happening. For me, positivity doesn’t mean slapping on a forced smile and pretending life isn’t a chaotic mess sometimes. Because let’s face it – bad stuff happens. And no amount of sparkle or motivational sayings will make it disappear.

I believe the power of positivity lies in realistic optimism – which means acknowledging that life can be tough, while actively choosing a perspective that doesn’t involve a doom spiral. I may not be able to fix the problem, but I can decide how to approach it. And if that helps even a little? Win.

A therapist once gave me the best metaphor: When life hands you something rough, it’s totally normal to visit negativity – but don’t pitch your tent there. Because the more we marinate in misery, the more it becomes our reality. And that doesn’t help anyone.

With this in mind, I face hard realities head-on, knowing that I can arm myself with information and support. I feel my feelings and deal with them, so they don't get in the way. And I find places to embrace ridiculousness and laughter (and believe it or not, they can be found even in the depths of despair, if you look hard enough).

And then, when the dust settles, I shift gears from “this is the worst” to “where do I go from here?” I look for opportunities, lessons, anything I can use as a springboard for growth.

Looking back on the past few decades – navigating chronic pain, my husband’s health crisis, the loss of both parents, job upheaval, and mental health struggles – I realize just how much this approach has served me. Positivity has helped me endure, grow, and find joy even in the darkest days. Have I come through it all completely unscathed? Nope. But I'm certainly stronger and wiser. And come out the other side with my tent firmly packed away in my backpack. I’ll take it.

So, what about you? What role does positivity play in your life? Have you ever pitched your tent somewhere that’s not serving you anymore? Maybe it’s time to relocate to a neighborhood with better views.